get them thinking . . .

I was just reminded of an earlier post where I mentioned some of the Fout Family Values. It is times like these that I think I should write in a series, methodically, post after post adding layers to to continuing story. HOWEVER, I don't want to take the joy out of these random acts of writing. The layered style I'll leave for the book writers. I will mention another thing that we try to concentrate on here at the home.

Concerning Relationships in Our Family . . .

5. We love one another, treating others with kindness, gentleness and respect.
6. We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first.
7. We encourage one another, using only words that build up and bless others.
8. We forgive one another, covering an offense with love when wronged or hurt.


Now, does this ALWAYS happen in our home? Sorry to inform, but the answer is a resounding NO. But it is a goal of ours and a standard we are constantly working on.

One of the things I have tried to do over the years when the children start treating each other horribly is to ask them a few questions. Questions get them thinking...it takes them out of the anger situation...it makes them reflect on THEIR behavior and not the one they think is wrong. Here are a few questions I ask.

What do you want?
Is doing that, or saying that, helping you get want you want? (ex. One is yelling at the other to stop doing something . . . does the yelling get them to stop doing it?)
What kind of person are you being to them?
What are you doing? Is that how you want to be?
What kind of person do you want to be?
What kind of brother/sister do you want to be remembered as?

We are definitely a work in progress, but these are helping us all to evaluate how we are treating the ones we should be loving.